I Heard They Were Eatable
Last summer, my best friend, Morgan, and I went to Banff for two weeks to get away from the boyfriends, the kids, and work… the whole town in general. We were on the road by 9:30 am on a beautiful Thursday morning, and arrived there 4 hours later around 1:30 in the afternoon, and decided to explore.
To stretch our legs a little after the long drive, we decided to go take the Aylmer Pass hiking trails. It was a long one, about a 13.5 km hike. First, we went to the supermarket to buy a couple snacks that would last us for a few hours until we came back in time for dinner. In our bag, we have some fruit, some granola bars, a couple sandwiches, a bag of chips, and 4 big huge bottles of water that will last us all day long.
Every few kms throughout the hike, we stopped, sat down, went into our backpack and grabbed something to eat. Our legs were in such pain. Who were we to think that we could walk this long? There was nobody around us to ask how much longer the hike was… Although Morgan did see a bunny. She loves bunnies. She really wanted to pet the little guy (for some odd reason, she always ‘needs’ to pet animals, especially the ones out in the wild). She didn’t want to go alone, so of course, I agreed to go with her. In the bushes we went…
We were walking in the bushes for probably about an hour already. We were lost, a little hungry, and the little bunny was no where to be found. Nothing was around us but a bunch of trees, flowers, mountains, and a long narrow river. We stopped to have a little break. We realized we had no food left.
Across from us were some beautiful bright colored bulb flowers. Morgan for some reason, had heard that it was okay to eat these flowers. Apparently a guy at work told her it gives you lots of nutrients and vitamins, and not to mention, ‘it supposedly’ could make you lose some weight as well. He was always a real jerk to her, so who knew if this was true or not.
Who Even Eats Flowers? We Are Not Animals.
I seemed to have found it very intriguing, so I went over to a bright pink bulb flower, yanked it off the peddle, and shoved it in mouth. It tasted really good actually, almost like watermelon. Morgan couldn’t help but try one as well. She grabbed the bright yellow one, and ate it. She said it tasted like bananas.
This is awesome. Fruit-flavored edible flowers! We took a bunch of them, of every color, and shoved probably 40 of them in our bag. We turn around, and there is a sign standing before us that said “DO NOT EAT THESE FLOWERS. WILL EXPERIENCE BLOATING, WEIGHT GAIN, OR DIARRHEA” …What???
A Poo/Gaining Nightmare…
Here we are trying to lose 10 pounds of body fat, and we are eating eatable flowers that make you gain weight and poo your pants?! “I thought you heard that it made you LOSE WEIGHT!” I was furious. The zipper on our shorts popped off, the straps on our tank-tops popped off, and our stomachs were rumbling for hours. We felt and looked like obese homeless people.
Finally at our hotel room, neither of us could fit our favorite dresses, nor any of our clothes as a matter of fact. Good thing there was a little gym in our hotel. We went in there, stepped on the scale, and we both gained 5 pounds because of those stupid flowers.
Instead of going out and having a good time as we planned, we were stuck in the gym and ran on the treadmill the whole two weeks we were there, night and day. But we kept stepping on the scale and we kept gaining and gaining, nothing would work. Are we going to explode?
Two weeks go by, the whole trip was over, and here we are… Needless to say, we had gained about 25 pounds in two weeks. What a nightmare. We can not go home looking like this.